So I've been neglecting my xanga because I've just been having too much fun on twitter...my latest craze: following celebrities microblogging! I can't seem to get enough and it's soooo interesting to read about their daily lives and learn all kinds of tidbits. The media always twists how celebs look and their personas and to have a medium like twitter allows them to be who they are and really, they're just like everyone else (well that's a for sure duh). Anyway, I'm definitely guilty of twittering and driving...I can't help it.

Speaking of, I do a lot of things while driving. It's lessened since I've gotten in about four car accidents but today as I was at a stop finishing lining the top of my lid, I look to my left and see this guy in his SUV crazily waving at me and giving me the thumbs up. Okay??? I just laughed it off.

Today was a better day. I spent the past week or so in a total rut. After the incident with my dad and stress coming at me left and right, I was hitting a breakdown. I spent the weekend with my family and it was greaaaat having everyone around and hanging out. It's been over eight months since we've all been together so it was definitely a breath of fresh air for me. I was way thankful for it. But anyway, after the fun weekend I ended up getting sick and I'm actually still getting over it. I wasn't going to let it stop me from working out though.

I've been working out like a fiend lately. I keep pushing and pushing myself for my best friend's wedding I'm gonna be in come May. I'm also getting ready for my boyfriend's visit in June...he deserves a hot girlfriend and I have every intention of being that girl for him! I've upped my cardio, strength exercises, ab work, etc about two notches and I'm feeling the burn...but it feels gooood. I'm progressing quite well and with the help of all my inspriing gym instructors, I'm keeping up. Everytime my arms get weak, or my legs get tired or I wanna get off the stairmaster, "I tell myself this is for Phillip!" and I hear him in my head: "You're stronger than you think. It's all in your mind." And the extra mile I go.

Okay well it's time too get crackin' on this stupid school work. Ugh. I'm so done with it. Thank goodness Spring Break is coming up! I could use a break from this and I'm ready for a nap but I'll deal...time to get serious. And twitter! LOL

(www.twitter.com/blssd)

I whisper goodbye, I swear its not for the last time.
I know its not easy.
This could never be easy.
Five-thousand miles with traffic of you in my mind,
Therell be pain, therell be glory.
Girl you dont need to worry;

Cause my heart will wait.
My heart will wait for you.
My heart will wait.
My hearts gonna wait for you always.

I hear your tears, theyre falling down through these eyes.
Pouring out just to reach me.
Calling out for some meaning.
With all those times we sat and dreamed of life:
Oh how the future it could be,
The flawless drawrings of beauty.
So dont give up, girl, dont give in.
Dont stop, believing in me.
This is just the beginning.

Cause my heart will wait.
My heart will wait for you.
My heart will wait.
My hearts gonna wait for you always.

Yeah, yeah.

My heart will wait. Oooh.
My heart will wait for you, wait for you.
My heart will wait for you always.
Cause my heart will wait for you.
Its gonna wait for you.
Its gonna wait for you, ahh.
My heart will wait for you.
Its gonna wait for you always.
Its gonna wait for you.
Its gonna wait for you.
Its gonna wait- for you.
Its gonna wait- for you.
My heart will wait until I will be with you ahh.


I whisper goodbye, I swear its not for the last time.
I know its not easy.
Its not meant to be easy.

-Joe Brooks

I'm officially in recession and I'm definitely feeling it. I'm counting every penny I spend and think twice before putting something in my cart. I went grocery shopping last night and I thought to myself, with what little I can afford to eat I should lose weight. I've quit Starbucks cold turkey...no more tea lattes and caramel macchiatos. I wanted ice cream last night, but ended up putting back the $3.64 half-gallon of cookies 'n cream.

I have a bad habit of treating myself, using a variety of excuses to validate my spontaneous purchases. If you've read Confessions of a Shop-a-holic, I have the same terrible mindset as the main character. "I've had a bad day, I deserve a trip to Nordstrom Rack." or "It's nearing spring, I need a new lipgloss from Mac" and buy one get one free, don't even let me get started. It's obvious, I'm not exactly Suze Orman when it comes to managing by finances. I'm terrible at it. And now that the economy is going down the toilet, my hours at work have been cut and the price of everything is going up, I think it's about time to become more conscious about my expenditures. Plus, it just really might help my figure.

That gets me thinking how a recession just might help the weight problem of America. We have to tighten our belts a little more, and what better way than to make economically sound choices at the grocery store and less visits to the drive thru. Same goes for transportation, maybe we'll start walking where we need to go since gas is back on the rise.

Well, it's probably a far (I originally wrote "fat," gee what a coincidence) fetched thought but we can hope. We can make the most out of this recession. Though it doesn't help that so many restaurants have been giving out free meals lately.

As for me, I know I'll be looking slimmer and will soon be able to fit into my one size smaller recession jeans.

Hmm...it's been a while. Not hearing back is probably the worst part of this. No matter how many emails I send, I can only wait. The upset is seeping through. I don't know if my being exhausted and needing copulous amounts of sleep and downtime has to deal with it. My guess is yes.

I've been living a normal life but part of me feels lost still. Like this is too unreal, perhaps it's just a dream.

'How are you my sweetie? I hope all is well. I miss you.'

I can only send those thoughts out in good spirit, hoping for the wind to carry a message back to me.

Yesterday was Wednesday (well, technically just a couple hours ago it was). Wednesdays are my faaaavorite days of the week. It's pretty random, right? Most people enjoy days of the weekend, not of the week. My reason for loving this day in particular is that it signifies that it's nearing the end of the week, thus inevitably the weekend...getting over the hump, hence the nickname "hump day." Whether or not you actually hump on this day, that's up to you...lol. Anyway,  I don't know about you but I don't enjoy the beginning of the week as much as I do the latter part of it. For one, it  consists mostly of the battle of adjusting to going back to school/work after the weekend. Mundane Mondays and Treacherous Tuesdays are just not my thing.

This week has been extremely good to me. I couldn't help but be in a good mood all week, all smiles, enthusiastically attempting to have pleasant conversations with others and overall just trying to attract the positivity in life. Sometimes I wonder if it's possible to be too optimistic about life? But nahhh, if I were to think that it would kind of be contradictory of being optimistic since I'm thinking pessimistic of it...right? Haha...I'm digressing!

So I had a good Wednesday...I had some time to kill so I sat in the Union on campus and just stared out the window with my Starbucks and chocolate croissant. Sometimes I have to give it up to Starbucks (or Java City and even Peet's) for the contribution it has toward my moments of relaxation, sanity, peace. I hope the rest of the week goes well and I'm thinking that it will. Despite Saturday being Valentine's Day and me dwelling in my own bitterness because of my situation, I can't help but feel bliss from all the love around. Even though when I went to Bel-Air last night and it looked like someone threw up Valentine's Day all over the place and I felt a tinge of cynic, in my own heart I can't help but feel loved. Hey my boyfriend may not be right next to me but he doesn't need to be in order for me to have that connection with him. Plus I got all my family, my friends and every awesome person in my life to remind me of it .

"Happy people don't have the best of everything. They made the best of what they've got."